Encountering hopelessness isn’t unusual throughout life, and every person’s hopelessness looks different. Maybe you’re isolating, feeling powerless in your circumstances, feeling uninspired, or simply having difficulty seeing the point in life.
Every person navigates hopelessness, so there’s no need to feel ashamed about the struggle. Life can be painful, overwhelming and sometimes unfair. However, don’t underestimate the amount of power that exists in your attitude, mindset and circumstances. You have more control of where you are than you think.
Read more: Why Do I Feel Hopeless?
In his office, David Ermer, MD, pediatric psychiatrist at Avera Behavioral Health, has seen people of all walks of life work through all kinds of pain and situations. “My patients have taught me a lot; I’ve seen profound resilience in people dealing with all sorts of setbacks and curveballs.”
Schedule an Appointment
Hopelessness can lead to depression. If you need help, schedule an appointment with an Avera behavioral health specialist.
Strategies to Start Regaining Your Hope
What if we told you a brighter life can start right now? It exists in simplicity and simple steps.
Stop the Mental Cycle
Healing starts in the mind, and like anything, negative cycles must be interrupted.
“Your thoughts navigate your life,” said Ermer. What you think, over and over, tends to magnify. When you notice this happening, recognize it and commit to stopping.
Think “stop,” or verbally say it. To avoid being immediately captured again in negative thoughts, you must replace them.
Use the next minute to implement the 3-3-3 rule, a cognitive therapy tool that promotes mindfulness. During this time, ground yourself in what’s going on around you: name three things you see, three things you hear and three things you can touch.
“Even better, touch those things,” said Ermer. “Pet your dog, touch the leaf of a nearby plant or run your hand over a blanket. These things get you out of your head.”
Or, you can use this time to list 10 things you’re grateful for — pets, a friend, your parents, hot water, a refrigerator with food, having an able body — these things truly are wonderful to have.
“I had a patient whose family members would go around the dinner table and say three things they were grateful for on that day,” said Ermer. “It’s a way to reframe your mind, recounting the good over the bad.”
Work on the Simple Things
When all you want to do is lie in bed, accomplishing the simple things can have a profound effect on your mental health. Here is a list of small wins to start your day:
- Get out of bed
- Make your bed
- Shower, brush your teeth and comb your hair
- Put on clean jeans and a shirt (no pajamas or sweats)
- Make an easy breakfast and eat at the table
- Say “good morning” to your child, spouse or pet
Yes, it seems trite, but these tiny tasks are monumental to setting the tone for your day. When hopelessness lies to your mind about you or your future, actions speak louder.
“When you make incremental, positive choices, you’re telling yourself that you’re capable of tackling the bigger obstacles that are making you feel hopeless,” said Ermer.
For example:
- If you’re feeling isolated, send a text message to meet a friend for lunch.
- If you’re feeling uninspired, open a sketchbook and start doodling the object in front of you.
- If you’re feeling misunderstood or oppressed about an aspect of who you are, write down how that characteristic makes you a beautiful person.
- If you’re facing a situation that makes you feel powerless, like a diagnosis, remember and do the things that are in your control. Take your medicine as the doctor prescribed or follow the diet from your registered dietitian.
- If you’re struggling to find a job, browse your email for follow-ups, and check online for new postings.
There’s always hope, and it starts with recognizing what’s going on in your head, said Ermer. Then you must decide what’s going to happen next. A simple follow through. And then doing it again and again. It takes time and repeated efforts to create a new habit.
Start Simple Exercise
If the word “exercise” seems daunting, keep it simple by just going for walks outside. The National Institutes of Health said that walking in the sun has proven to boost mental health by increasing serotonin — the feel-good hormone — and reducing cortisol levels.
Like the tasks above, break it down into bite-size chunks. Sit down, put on your tennis shoes, open the door, go outside. Commit to just walking around your block or walking for 20 minutes.
“Whether you’re struggling with mental health or not, setting a time limit is a great way to do anything that feels like a mountain,” said Ermer. “That timeframe will pass regardless — why not use it for something for which you can say, ‘I tried, and I can feel good about trying.’?”
Read more: Feeling Indecisive? Try the 5-Minute Rule
Volunteer or Declutter
Giving is one of the best ways to feel good about yourself. Check with your church, your child’s school, a nursing home or with a friend to see what volunteer opportunities are out there. You’ll get out of the house and rub shoulders with others committed to a higher cause.
Another refreshing task is decluttering a corner of your house and dropping off the items at a secondhand store.
“Saying ‘yes’ to an afternoon of helping others or clearing out an area might inspire your next steps in life,” said Ermer. “You’ll feel lighter and refreshed.”
