Look for the Silver Lining

While difficult times can drown us in despair, determination can help people find ways to overcome the overwhelming.

“Finding small ways to celebrate – and being deliberate in our approaches to every day – are both steps in the right direction toward overcoming the fear, grief and anxiety that may come with difficult times in our lives,” said Nancy Wise-Vander Lee, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in women’s health at Avera Medical Group Behavioral Health Clinic.

We can focus on gratitude, be intentional in our efforts and develop alternative routines and skills as we go forward.

Body, Mind and Spirit

When we face challenges, they hit us on many levels. Bright sides are found when we exercise our bodies, minds and spirits.

“There are many amazing stories of how people have found a spiritual awakening as they help others and themselves,” Wise-Vander Lee said. “Remember to be holistic with yourself as you go forward. Use your mind to move your body and keep spiritual endeavors in the mix as well. Stay in touch with your church. Keep a higher power in the day-to-day work you do. Pray or meditate more – all of these steps can ensure your mental and physical state is stronger because your spiritual mind is working hard, too.”

Share Hobbies

Whether you enjoy playing piano, baking or exploring state parks, you can share what you’re doing with others. It can bring joy to your friends and loved ones.

“Not all of us want to go camping, but everyone enjoys seeing pretty pictures of nature or videos of you and your loved ones having fun,” she said. “If you do knitting or some other crafty hobby, think about who you might share it with. If you’re baking and cooking, share images on social media, give people recipes or share some samples.”

If you’ve picked up (and maybe set down) a hobby or two, there’s still time to try one more, or return to one that failed to hold your interest.

The Work of Staying in Touch is Worth It

It’s not easy to sit down and write a letter to someone, and it can be a juggling act to mesh schedules for a full-family Zoom session. But these efforts often provide a return on investment that’s worth the time spent with pen and paper or coordinating the schedules of a large group of loved ones.

“Disconnection and loneliness are really commonplace now, so be diligent in planning and hosting video conferences or even group phone calls,” Wise-Vander Lee said. “You’ll feel better when they’re over and they can really help. Don’t give up on trying to find ways to make connections.”

Start at Self-Care to Help Others

“You won’t be able to help your children, parents, spouse or coworkers if you’re overwhelmed and out of sorts – so find things that fill your bucket and schedule them,” said Wise-Vander Lee.

Those things can include:

• Writing
• Painting
• Getting outside for walks
• Trying new things

“Make time for your own care and for self-compassion,” Wise-Vander Lee said.

Stop Scrolling and Start Scheduling

Comparisons can cripple us. If time on social sites or photo-sharing apps makes you unhappy, drop those parts from your day. Time on social media isn't mandatory – you can make an alternative routine. Call friends or family or set up a video chat – seeing those faces and hearing them share stories can lift spirits and help you connect.

“We can all think of a few people we’re not seeing like we did. Give them a call,” said Wise-Vander Lee.

If you feel overwhelmed by grief or loneliness, talk to your primary care provider or a counselor.