Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States. In South Dakota in 2021, the state had a record high of 203 people who died by suicide. While those numbers trended down slightly, every life matters.
Jaime Lobban will admit that she and her dad, Bill, may have butted heads when she was younger, but that’s changed as she’s gotten older.
“We are a lot alike, I think in my teenage years I didn’t want to admit that, so I think in adulthood we’ve become a lot closer,” said Lobban, resource nurse at Avera Behavioral Health.
That’s why when her dad attempted suicide in 2019, it shook their whole family.
“I think it was probably a couple months prior to his attempt he stopped sleeping, and my mom noticed that but she kind of kept it quiet and tried to help him through it, give him his privacy, stuff like that,” said Lobban.
But as time went on, concerns continued to grow. As a resource nurse at Avera Behavioral Health, Jaime recognized her dad needed help.
“I remember, he wouldn’t even make eye contact, he just looked at the floor, super slow, I talked to him and he wouldn’t even register that I was talking to him,” said Lobban. “I remember saying if we brought him into assessment right now they would admit him and he was very against it, didn’t want to do that. He had just seen his primary care that day and they said let’s switch the sleep meds, so I agreed with him and said if you can get through the weekend, if things aren’t better by Monday, I’m bringing you in.”
But just two days later, her dad attempted suicide.
“My mom is a substitute teacher so she was away, and he was sending her odd texts, very much like I’m not a part of this world and delusional things,” said Lobban. “He doesn’t remember intentionally dialing the phone, but his phone dialed out to a family friend actually as he was doing the attempt, and he said ‘I’ve slit my wrists.’”
Her mom rushed home and emergency services arrived. He was taken to the ICU for a few days before going to Avera Behavioral Health for a week.
“I won’t say one week was the fix, because it was a really long journey for him, but at least he got the resources in place,” said Lobban.
Jaime credits resources offered there and in the community, plus support from family have helped her dad recover.
“The last year or two that he has been really well, and felt a really strong calling, and I shared this, to reduce the shame that is attached to it, especially in the church, and that he mentors young men now,” said Lobban.
It’s important to take the warning signs seriously, and even taking that a step further by asking "are you thinking about suicide?"
“The easiest way to do this is do it in a direct but very caring manner and saying ‘have you been having thoughts or had thoughts of ending your life or of suicide?’” said Veronica Radigan, MD, psychiatrist with Avera Medical Group Behavioral Health. “Some people think that by asking the question that they are almost implanting the thought of suicide, but honestly that is quite the contrary. Most people feel relief being asked this question, for them, it actually could be the first sign of hope.”
“There are resources out there, you’re not alone. I know a lot of people feel that shame and isolation in the depths of their illness, but you’re not alone, and there are resources out there to help,” said Lobban.
Learn more about behavioral health services at Avera.
