A powerful mixture of fear of the unknown and of pain, and perhaps some feelings of guilt can make many children fear a trip to the doctor’s office.
“Adults, even those who don’t like going to the doctor, have experience to draw upon when it comes to a doctor’s appointment. Based on the type of appointment, we can better anticipate what will happen. Kids don’t have that – they can be worried about the unknown or are afraid they will be separated from mom or dad,” said Twila Perkinson, a certified Child Life Specialist with Avera Children’s Hospital. “The worries vary from child to child and depend on age in many cases, but parents can help by being direct and providing kids with distractions and reassurances.”
It’s quite natural for kids to have questions, yet for parents, it can be overwhelming. There are steps you can take that will help your reluctant child make the most of a checkup. Taking time to talk about upcoming appointments may help reduce anxiety and support the feeling of being prepared.
You Know Best What Works
Parents, naturally, know their kids best, Perkinson said, and that’s why there’s no one rule that can be applied outright for calming any and all fears.
“If children are worriers, you might just talk about the ‘easier’ parts of a well-child checkup, like the height and weight," Perkinson said. Practice at home with a pretend doctor's kit, using dolls or stuffed animals as the patient.
Younger kids may worry because the doctor or nurse may be someone new, but in most cases, moms and dads are welcome to accompany their child into the exam room.
“Let them know that you’ll be right there by their side, holding them or holding their hand,” she said. “Give them choices if you can. You can ask if they want to sit on the exam table or have you hold them – in many cases the medical provider will be happy to accommodate them.” Another choice might be letting the child decide left or right side for vital signs or immunizations.
Many Emotions in Play
As a parent, please do not make any false promises, such as "no shots" before you go to your appointment. Honesty is the best as well as validating the feelings your child is expressing, whether they are worried, frightened, apprehensive or nervous. All feelings are OK and acknowledging them is another way of supporting your child. Distractions such as a planning a “fun” outing after the doctor’s visit or perhaps a game or looking at pictures on a smart phone can be a good way to occupy young minds. Songs, humming or practicing deep breathing together can calm the nerves – both young and old.
Of course in the event of a hospitalization or unplanned trip to acute care, the situation will be different. You won’t have time to prepare and stress levels may be higher. Gather a comfort item to bring with such as a special blanket or stuffed animal. By remaining calm and being positive you can support your child.
“Some kids may feel guilty for getting sick – it sounds surprising, but it happens. They might think, ‘If only I had listened to mom, I wouldn’t have fallen out of the tree and hurt my arm.’ You can help them avoid getting down on themselves with reminders on how everyone gets sick or has an accident. All kids go to the doctor – it’s the best way to get better,” Perkinson said.
"For kids who fear vaccinations – that’s a hard one, but you can help. Again, being honest is best. Use your word choices carefully. Skip the word shots altogether – perhaps say poke – it’s much softer and less scary,” said Perkinson. “When in doubt, talk to the clinic staff or a child life specialist. We can help you – we’re all on the same team with the same goal: healthy kids who are not scared.”
Learn about children's health services at Avera
