Christmas Gift-Giving for Kids: How Much is Enough?

Each Christmas, children are barraged with marketing campaigns designed to make them want every toy, game, tech item, or trendy fashion item.

One week, there is Breakfast with Santa at Dad’s service club, and each child receives a gift. Then the school sponsors a Secret Santa and each child gets another gift. After the church school program, more treats and gifts.

When Christmas Day arrives, gifts are exploding from beneath the Christmas tree. The children rip open gift after gift, look at them briefly, and toss them aside. Later, Grandma, Grandpa and the other relatives arrive bearing more gifts.

When it’s all over, many kids can’t remember what they actually received, much less who gave it to them. Some kids will even ask, “Is that all?”

It might have you wondering what it teaches children. 

Teaching Kids Appreciation (and Disappointment) Through Gift-Giving

As adults, we want our kids to have more than we had. That’s a good thing, but sometimes we carry it too far. In those cases, we deny children the chance to develop appreciation and gratitude, and to learn to wish, wait and hope.

We fail to teach them that we don’t always get everything we want, and that delayed gratification can make us happier and more fulfilled than having too much. As adults, they may never understand how much is enough, or learn how to live within their means and manage their resources.

Think about getting your child one big and one small gift. Then spread out other things over the year. You might start a tradition of a Valentine gift, or gifts for the beginning and end of school. This helps children wish and hope for things they want, delay gratification, and avoid being overwhelmed by so many gifts at one time.

How to Limit Gift-Giving and Receiving During the Holidays 

With this in mind, here are a few ways to find the right balance for your family:

• Consider the different types of gifts you can give: something a they want, something that's needed. something they can wear, something they can read, something they can do. 
• Set a budget and stick with it. Then, decide what gifts you will buy for your children that fall within the budget. Avoid buying more gifts on impulse, because something is a “good deal." If you do buy those extra things, put them away for another day.
• Involve your kids in buying gifts for others. Have them help pick out a gift for Grandma or other family members. Or, buy a present for a giving tree. 
• Limit “extracurricular” giving. Avoid gift-giving with every group your child is involved in, such as scout troop or church school. It's OK to say no. 
• Open gifts slowly, one person at a time. This allows children to look more carefully at the gift, hear others admire it, and thank the giver.
• Consider drawing names with extended family instead of getting a gift from every aunt, uncle and cousin. Or consider a gift exchange of things that are homemade or recycled/repurposed.
• Include a gift that will be passed on – a bag of dog food to be taken to the animal shelter on a volunteer day, a grocery store or department store gift card to use to buy and deliver items to the food bank or to a hospital. Be sure these are things children can actually help buy and deliver.

Even with all these tips, it may still be overwhelming for your child. After Christmas, don't be afraid to stash some gifts and let your kids enjoy new things one at a time. The things that are not immediately getting played with can be put away. They may be more appreciated a few weeks later.

There is nothing like the joy of a child on Christmas! With a little thought and self-control, you can give your kids a fabulous holiday while teaching them important lessons about contentment, satisfaction and gratitude.

Learn more about children's services at Avera

By the Avera Family Life Educators