For many folks, friendships are made during the elementary school or little league years, but two Harrisburg boys they can trace their friendship all the way back to day one. Graham Nickles and Evans Nord share a lot in common. They like the same team.
“Um the Vikings!” shouts Evans
“The Vikings!” agrees Graham.
And a certain superstar wide receiver.
“Justin Jefferson,” exclaims Graham.
“Justin Jefferson!” said Evans.
The other common ground they share is where their story began, the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Avera McKennan Hospital & University Health Center. Graham was the first on scene.
Importance of Support Systems in the NICU
“He was born at 29 weeks and three days. It was absolutely terrifying. The staff does a great job with people that come in and talk to you. But you are feeling like you're kind of going through it alone or without your family. Many people don't always understand what it's like to leave every night and be like, OK, well, I'll be back tomorrow and you're leaving your baby at the hospital and just kind of trusting them with other people,” said Heidi Nickles, Graham’s mom.
That feeling is the exact opposite of what you expect when bringing baby into the world. And while NICU staff do everything to include parents on baby's care, there is a definite need for them to build their own support system.
“Only another NICU parent who's been through that can relate to what you're talking about and give you not the sympathy, but the empathy, perhaps, that you're looking for. To say, OK, I'm not crazy that I feel this way. This is something that's natural, but it is rare. Luckily, thankfully, it's rare. But for those parents who have to go through it, it changes your entire life,” said Katherine Wang, MD, a neonatologist with Avera.
And sometimes, in those moments of crisis and uncertainty, an unexpected friendship is formed.
“That's where I always accredit meeting Heidi in the NICU, and other families, but specifically Heidi,” said Traci Nord.
Evans Nord was born at 28 weeks and three days and as fate would have it. He moved in right next door to some pretty cool people.
“We were in room 17, she (Heidi) was in 18. She was like six weeks ahead in the journey around there and so I went to her a lot for what to expect and she would be reassuring. We could compare notes on how our boys were doing,” said Nord.
As weeks and months went by, the two families shared milestones, like Traci and Jeff finally getting to hold Evans, or when Graham finally got over his fussy eating habit. They're two separate journeys, but memories that were made together in the NICU and beyond.
Friendship Blossoms With Age
“We're eight years later. I don't know how that happened. So every year on the milestones of these guys' birth, leading up to those dates, I kind of get emotional. I look through pictures. I tell Evans about his story. And just think about how far they've come,” said Nord.
“Just to see that they're both active and they actually play sports against each other and run into each other throughout town, it's just great because you can't tell physically seeing either of them play that they were ever born early. So it's pretty rewarding, everything they overcame, to get to where they're at now,” said Nickles.
“The thought that they actually have play dates to me is amazing, because one, that they can. And two, that it was a friendship that actually continued beyond here. So it was born of crisis and trauma, but actually blossomed and developed into something that's so much more positive. And I think that is really a testament to both families,” said Dr. Wang.
“They're both miracles. That's their story. And that makes them just set up for success and they're so strong,” said Nord.
Both Traci and Heidi are involved with the local NICU support group and continue to give back and be a resource for parents facing their own NICU journey.
Learn More
What to expect in the NICU
NICU specialty care at Avera
