Grief touches everyone at some point, but it never looks exactly the same. It’s an emotional response to a significant loss, oftentimes that of a loved one. There is no right or wrong way to feel, and it doesn’t have a set timeline for how long it will last. Tim Fountain, a bereavement coordinator with Avera@Home Hospice, explains some of the most common myths about grief and offers insight into the healing process.
Does Grief Follow a Set Timeline?
“No it does not. People will wonder if maybe there is a checklist of things to go through that runs on a certain schedule, and there’s not. It's unique to each person. Some people grieve very heavily right after the loss, some people go kind of numb right after the loss or they are busy with estate work and funeral planning and the grief doesn’t really land emotionally until much later,” said Fountain.
Does Everyone Grieve the Same Way?
“No, as diverse as people are the grief is the same way. Some people are very expressive emotionally, some people process their emotions internally and very quietly, some people actually grieve by being physically active,” said Fountain.
Will it Make it Worse to Talk About Your Loved One?
“No, it doesn't, as long as it’s coming from the person who is grieving. If you don’t feel like talking about it, or if that’s too raw and everywhere you go people are coming up to you wanting to talk about the person that can be very painful. So talking about the lost loved one is not necessarily negative as long as the person who is grieving is OK with it,” said Fountain.
Advice When Grieving
“We encourage people to be gentle and patient with themselves. They’re not going to be their usual self for a while. Everything is disrupted, familiar things are out of whack, it takes a while to find your way back into steady patterns of life. So be patient with yourself. Be accepting of different emotions, let them come and let them go,” said Fountain.
Learn more about hospice care at Avera.
