What is Your Good Enough?
As a recovering perfectionist and hustler for my worth (“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness” as Brene Brown describes), I often have to check in with myself and ask, “What is good enough? Right now. In this moment?”
If I don’t do this, I know exactly what will happen; I’ll give too much of myself to too many things and won’t have the energy or drive for anything else. I’m embarrassed to admit that it is usually my family and myself who deal with the after effects of letting this go on too long. I know it is absolutely impossible to be 100% in every area of your life, 100% of the time but I continually act as if I can.
Big shocker here, it doesn’t work.
There is always a sacrifice somewhere so it is up to you to decide what that will be. Do you even know what your good enough is? Imagine having 10 units of energy for your entire day. What is one way you can spread your energy throughout the day so you aren’t sacrificing certain areas? A few questions to ask yourself now:
- Do I feel like me?
- Do I feel stretched in several areas in my life? Am I taking on too much each day?
- What unrealistic standards am I putting on myself and those around me?
- Do I feel like I am constantly busy but not achieving anything?
You are not alone if you are feeling these things but luckily, there are some things you can do to change this.
Give these recommendations a try
Manage Your Energy, Not Time
Instead of using time blocking and management to organize your day, plan to organize your tasks by your level of energy. Are you in tune with your “peak performance periods” when you have the maximum energy to do your best work? Start by using those periods for your most important work or the things you absolutely have to get done. Ask yourself:
- What is in my control today?
- How much energy am I willing to put into this?
- What will I sacrifice if I do this?
Learn How to Say "No"
I hosted an all-women’s Bible study some years ago and the topic of saying “no” came up. I honestly really didn’t know how to without feeling guilty or over-explaining. I would say “yes” to everything not realizing how much of me I was sacrificing, all to prove I could do it all. You can temporarily lie to yourself, but you can’t to your body and energy. It will notice and make the decision for you if you don’t make it for yourself.
Things to try:
- Have templated messages saved on your phone and email signatures until you gain more confidence in saying “no.” The more you practice this, the easier it will get.
- Ask yourself:
- What’s important to me?
- What extra yeses am I giving to things that aren’t as important to me?
- What small thing can I do today to make me feel like me?
Know What You Value
I’ve learned to not take on too much but instead, switch my focus to what can I give up that isn’t serving me. The point is to not take on more but give up the things that aren’t as important and in line with your values. For example, maybe instead of scrolling on social media for 30 minutes to an hour, how can I give up this time and put it to something more useful? I’ve made it a point to notice earlier when I am not feeling like myself and schedule something in that I value. Other ways to help:
- Be kind to yourself. I know I am always harder on myself than those around me. My own inner critic needs to be challenged often, “Would I say that to my child, friend or coworker?” No – then quit saying it to yourself!
- Be patient. You will never have perfect balance but you can have priorities. If you don’t know what is important to you, try something. Have fun! Learn something new. Give yourself grace and let life fall into place – out of balance and all.
- Perfect balance doesn’t exist but harmonizing the things that are important to you definitely can.
Having the awareness to make this change is the first step. This new mindset will take practice and trial and error will be a part of the process. The most important thing is to not give up, give yourself grace and have fun!
Megan Bartel is the Avera LIGHT Program Manager